"I'm Sound Asleep, You're Boring" - A Review...

The Future Of Music? Say it isn't so.

I recently purchased a copy of the latest Bright Eyes album, "I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning". You may or may not have heard of this kid, Conor Oberst (Bright Eyes is the band name he puts his music out under) who's getting all kinds of accolades from rock writers from Rolling Stone to Spin to NME to etc... etc... He's supposedly the second coming, the "new Dylan" if you will. Upon hearing this "messiah" for myself, I can say without a doubt that this kid must be using some sort of payola scheme to get anyone to listen to his music. He's the latest in a long line of boring "folkies" who think that for a song to exist, it only needs lyrics. Just looking at the lyrics, the kid has obvious talent... as a poet. He just needs to give up trying to attach any of his words to any sort of tune. The first thing that drives you up the wall is that warbling voice. Many classic musicians over time have not had a top notch singing voice, Dylan, Hendrix, so I'm not holding that against him. But one thing that will make me tune out is that fake, whiny, troubled, warbly BS. Then when he's not doing that, he'll go in to a soft whisper as if to say "listen to me, I'm so troubled and sensitive". I guess he's trying to make the listener feel something, all it makes me feel like is going to the bathroom. On to the guitar playing. Someone needs to take his guitar away, TODAY. If you don't think it's possible for a guitar to emote boredom, you're sadly mistaken. Dull strumming and nothing original. It's the same alt-country that's been done a million times and a million times better by bands like the Jayhawks, Wilco, Ryan Adams, etc... In conclusion, all the rock writers who have called him the future of music can simply put, keep him. Please don't push him down my throat anymore.1

1 = Don't purchase in the $1.00 bin at your used record store. Avoid like a plague.
2 = Only if you're desperate for new music. You need it like a hole in the head.
3 = An okay buy, probably just download the tracks you want from I-Tunes.
4 = Buy new the next time you're out and about. A fully satisfying record.
5 = Masterpiece, run and buy today!

Rock Writers...

Found this little "gem" today scanning the internet:

"Corgan's voice is not a pretty thing, reminiscent as it is of an angle-grinder. It's probably mostly to blame for keeping the Pumpkins' best songs off mainstream radio in their day. When he turns his pen to ballads, Corgan can be as anodyne as any top 40 hit-maker - witness Pretty Pretty Star and All Things Change. If someone else was singing it, it'd be almost easy listening. Then again, Corgan's aggro mode always felt overwrought. He's at his best in this sort of icy, dark sonic territory with a little industrial-strength glam thrown in."
- Reviewed by Kelsey Munro

What? The Pumpkins songs were never on mainstream radio? How about MTV? I seem to remember that they were able to get at least a couple of songs on there and the radio.
Let's recap shall we?

-Cherub Rock
-Today(Hardly ever heard this, right?)
-Disarm
-Rocket
-Bullet With Butterfly Wings
-Tonight, Tonight
-Zero
-Muzzle
-Thirty Three
-1979 (Barely heard this one at all)

I'm sure there are a couple I'm forgetting, but it seems to me these could be found on "mainstream" radio in the Pumpkins heyday dipshit. Honestly how do these "writers" end up covering music? Another rumor that's floating around is that Billy Corgan "stormed" off the stage in Melbourne Australia after fans pelted him with calls for Pumpkins songs. The only issue with the story is that it's not remotely true. Rock writers are right up there with the newspeople that cover presidential campaigns. Neither group can ever seem to get any stories to the people that actually happened, the way they happened. Their motto seems to be, "if it didn't happen, make it up."

MP3 Playlist for July 2005...

"Steady Rollin' Man" - 461 Ocean Boulevard by Eric Clapton
"Feel Good Inc." - Demon Days by Gorillaz
"Dia" - The Future Embrace by Billy Corgan
"Until The End Of The World" - Achtung Baby by U2
"Make It Rain" - Real Gone by Tom Waits
"Lose Control" - The Cookbook by Missy Elliot
"Blue Orchid" - Get Behind Me Satan by The White Stripes
"Award Tour" - Midnight Marauders by A Tribe Called Quest
"Que' Onda Guero" - Guero by Beck
"Una Descarga a Cachao" - Ahora Si' by Israel "Cachao" Lopez
"If I Am a Stranger" - Cold Roses by Ryan Adams
"Ohio is for Lovers - The Silence in Black and White by Hawthorne Heights
"Have You Ever Loved a Woman" - Layla and Other Assorted... by Derek and the Dominos
"Jezebel" - Woman King by Iron & Wine

My Favorite Twenty One Albums of All Time...

I'm not saying these are the best albums of all time (the one exception to that statement would be #1...), but these are the records that "do it" for me. Two rules: No band more than once. This keeps me from listing every album and compilation the Pumpkins ever did. The second rule I gave myself was no "Greatest Hits" compilations. So, here it is:


21) A Storm In Heaven - The Verve

















20) Odelay - Beck

















19) The Beatles (The White Album) - The Beatles

















18) The Fillmore Concerts - The Allman Brothers Band
















17) The Downward Spiral - Nine Inch Nails

















16) Amorica - The Black Crowes

















15) Yankee Hotel Foxtrot - Wilco

















14) Chutes Too Narrow - The Shins

















13) Live At Folsom Prison - Johnny Cash

















12) Giant Steps - John Coltrane

















11) Fully Completely - The Tragically Hip

















10) Kind of Blue - Miles Davis

















9) O.K. Computer - Radiohead
















8) Tomorrow The Green Grass - The Jayhawks


















9) Are You Experienced - Jimi Hendrix Experience

















8) Highway 61 Revisited - Bob Dylan

















7) Automatic For The People - R.E.M.

















6) Animals - Pink Floyd
















5) Heartbreaker - Ryan Adams

















4) II - Led Zeppelin


















3) ...And Justice For All - Metallica

















2) Grace - Jeff Buckley

















1) Siamese Dream - The Smashing Pumpkins